dining out, love stinks, not shanking your dining neighbor, o-rama, valentines day

Love Stinks: Dining Solo

There it is, your heart out in the open for all the world to piss on. Happy Valentine’s Day. Is that your attitude this year? Are you sick of seeing Cupids and hearts and does the color red suddenly make you nauseous? Finding yourself alone this February 14th and slightly bitter about it? My advice to you: Fuck it and treat it like any other Tuesday that will pass by this year. Is Tuesday normally pizza night at your house? Then order a pizza. Use 2DineIn.com and order some Thai. Do absolutely nothing different.

But, on the other hand, if you’re feeling a bit full of piss and vinegar, then do something dramatically different. Go out. Go out and treat yourself to a fantastic meal to spite all of those happy couples and creepy faced Cupids. Go sit at the bar of Five Fifty Five, Hugo’s, Caiola’s, Miyake or Back Bay Grill–wherever couples are gathering–and treat yourself. Do for you. And you know what? Those people that have to wait on and serve those happy couples aren’t on a date for Valentine’s Day, either. Keep them company. Tip them well.

After that go rent a mindless movie at Video Port or, my personal recommendation, go for an Ancient Aliens marathon. Trust me, you will feel better about yourself immediately after watching that show. A little paranoid, but better. If you’re looking for a more personal, instant gratification, hit up Nomia’s on Exchange and get yourself a little something.

No matter what your choice is, just don’t hide away and dwell. No one likes a dweller.

This is another installment of the O-Rama blogger series, brought to you by Professor A. Other postings and opinions about love and V-Day dining can be found here, here, here ,here, here and here.

not shanking your dining neighbor, overheard in restaurants, queers in the kitchen

"It’s a lesbian restaurant.."

Things that can be gay (in the not equated to ‘stupid’ way as has become the vernacular of the times..also ‘queer’ can be interchanged here) :

  1. People
  2. Penguins
  3. Bars
  4. Parades (like the one this coming week in Portland)
  5. Rainbows

But a restaurant? I ask this because of a conversation overheard the other night @ Yosaku as my partner and I sat next to a table of 4 (1 older male, 2 mid-40’s females and a 16yr old boy). As the older gentleman seemed to be trying to flex his foodie muscles, though miserably failing as a good bit of the information he was telling his companions about different places was complete and utter bullshit, they started naming places they really enjoyed. One of the women, who apparently had tried to be a local food writer at one time, brought up a west end restaurant as one of her choices. To which the gentleman replied:

“It’s more of a lesbian restaurant, really, isn’t it? That’s what I see it as.”

It was then that I was glad there was no cutlery at the table, though I did ponder how quickly I could whittle down one of the chopsticks into a weapon and cause bodily harm to him. So, in my minds eye, because I could not cause a scene in the restaurant and be so disrespectful of the chef and staff, I chastised him for basing his decision on the sexuality of the owners and a handful of the staff, rather than the food. In my mind I also went on to correct all of his misinformation and, for the fuck of it, verbally emasculate him for all of his ignorance…. again, in my mind I did this. In reality, I just pondered–through the boiling rage–how, to him, it wasn’t an Italian, Japanese, French or American restaurant… it was Lesbian. No mention of the chef’s years in the business or even his opinion on the food, just the overall sexuality of the restaurant.

Even a week later, I’m still dumbfounded by the conversation–not to mention the other hour of vapid conversation about grinding at the prom, the older man wanting to start his own dining group called ‘The A-Team’ and how the adults wanted the kid to ‘get them in’ at a popular local restaurant that is pretty damn easy to get a reservation at if you just call a few days ahead. Truthfully, the 16 year old was the most articulate one at the table but this could possibly be because he didn’t consume the martini’s that the adults did(I hope he got the keys from them after the meal).

Granted, the guy was a douche wagon, but I can’t help but admit that he has me wondering how other gay owned restaurants are perceived by others. Is it something that comes up in conversation when deciding what restaurant to make reservations at, “Honey, do you want to go to the Twice Married Heterosexual Males Restaurant or the Coupled Lesbian Bistro?”

Is Arrows seen as a gay restaurant?
Will Figa be?

Most importantly, does it honestly matter?

My apologies for an endless, simmering ramble.