animals talking in all caps, my future, put a bird on it

One Day I’ll Have Enough Money To Be This Guy

WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, TRIGGER. ARE THOSE ORGANIC VEGETABLES? IS THAT GRASS-FED FREE-RANGE BEEF?
ANDREA! ANDREA, GET IN HERE! YOUR CRAZY BOYFRIEND THINKS HE’S ACTUALLY GOING TO COOK IN OUR RUSTIC KITCHEN!
COME ON, MAN. WE SPENT LIKE … THREE YEARS GETTING EVERYTHING IN THIS HOUSE TO LOOK LIKE STILLS FROM AN L.L. BEAN CATALOG. YOU DON’T ACTUALLY THINK WE SIT ON THE COUCHES OR SHIT IN THE TOILET, DO YOU? THAT’S WHAT STARBUCKS IS FOR. GO ON. GET OUT OF HERE BEFORE YOU DROP A LEEK ON THE GRANITE FLOOR TILING.

ANIMALS TALKING IN ALL CAPS

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animals talking in all caps, farmers market, going rustic, spinach

Rustic

WHAT IS THAT? IS THAT AN iPAD?

DAMN IT, CAROL, THAT’S NOT VERY RUSTIC. I THOUGHT WE WERE GOING TO BE TOTALLY RUSTIC IN 2012. WASN’T THAT THE DEAL? YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE AT THE FARMER’S MARKET BRINGING HOME HEIRLOOM TOMATOES WRAPPED CAREFULLY IN CHEESECLOTH, AND SPINACH WITH LITTLE BUGS IN IT. WHERE DID YOU EVEN FIND AN APPLE STORE?

… MAYBE IF WE GLUE WOOD TO IT, LIKE A FRAME OR SOMETHING, WE CAN KEEP IT NEAR THE HEARTH SOMEWHERE.

Thank you, Vrylena, for introducing me to ‘ANIMALS TALKING IN ALL CAPS‘ last year. It brings me such joy.

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