getting paid significantly less than what they're asking, how desperate are you for a job?, ridiculous job ads in Portland

I’ll Just Leave This One Right Here

Barista/Baker/Social Media (Downtown Portland)

Downtown coffeehouse seeks part time (1-3 days/week) team member. Coffeehouse experience NOT necessary. But, you should come in a package that features a big smile, absolute honesty, integrity, and a desire to do your best and constantly grow and improve. This position is not just about pouring coffee and waiting on customers. This is an opportunity to use your skills to help grow a cool, local coffeehouse with a mission. Here is what you are going to need to land this job. You will either need baking experience or significant social media experience. If baking, tell us what you bake and how creative you can be in a very small kitchen. If social media is your forte, you will need to be very active and experienced with using social media, including Facebook,Twitter, and Foursquare–all three. The primary responsibility of this position is to help customers. But, in between customers, our team members use their talents to help build and become a meaningful part of the business–be they baking, graphics, or marketing. Starting salary is $8.00/hour–plus tips–with regular reviews based upon job performance and meeting company goals. Staff discounts. Some benefits after six months. More after a year. First step? Please send your resume. You get bonus points if you can tell us in 10,000 words or less just how much you would like to work for us. However, the bonus points only count if you can impress us with your baking, graphics, or social media experience. Be sure to let us know whether you are currently working, and if so, full or part time, as well as your availability and when you can begin. Please note: this position requires at least one full weekday or two half-weekdays.

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5 thoughts on “I’ll Just Leave This One Right Here

  1. ARG. That makes me so angry in so many different ways that I have trouble formulating my feelings about it.I'm not sure what their "mission" is that aligns with paying their marketing/baking staff $2 less an hour than I made ten years ago as a college intern.I also enjoy the idea of writing a 9000 word essay about why I want to work for a company that has not identified itself in the ad.

  2. S. says:

    It's rageful, right? This is actually the second time they've posted the ad because, apparently, nobody wanted that shit the first time around. The most annoying part for me is that they probably think they're really cutesy and whatnot… But, it's hard to pretty up a shitty paying, regardless of how cute you try to be.

  3. S. says:

    Never mind the essay, they had me from the get go: But, you should come in a package that features a big smile, absolute honesty, integrity, and a desire to do your best and constantly grow and improve.There's just something about "you should come in a package"….that's worth $8/hr.

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