This year, Whitman’s Chocolate Sampler box, would like to remind you of the true meaning of Christmas:
My thanks to my friend, Aurora, for finding the humor in this and being sick enough to actually buy it because of how oddly creepy it is.
I have this thing with chopsticks. Actually, I’m a lazy collector of them. I use to be much better about it, searching out some lovely ones in Chinatown every trip I made from Albany. Truthfully, one of the hardest things that I had to do when my ex and I split up was to split the collection with her. Outside of my library of Grateful Dead bootlegs, which meant nothing to her, I placed very little sentiment on possessions. So, she knew she could strike deepest at me–which was more than understandable as it was I that was leaving her–by taking something that meant so much to me. So, she was left with 30 pairs of them. And I kind of gave up on it.
But, tell me you’re traveling somewhere and I’ll tell you that I collect them and that you should pick me up a pair. When the Missus went to Iqaluit, I requested a pair–maybe something out of a tusk?. When her mother traveled to Bhutan, I had hoped for a blessed pair. Going to Puerto Rico? No matter, I’m sure they have them somewhere down there–steal a pair from a restaurant.. I won’t tell. I’m tossing around the notion to expand my collection and include eating utensils outside of a typical knife/spoon/fork setting. Every culture has something, so I deduce this will expand my options of getting something from a friend traveling far from where we are here. Not a bad plan, right?
But, plotting and scheming wasn’t the reason to get on this diatribe. I was actually thinking about my chopstick obsession because I found myself trying to decide which pair I wanted to eat dinner with tonight. I chose a newer pair, a gift from the Missus, made of bamboo. And with them I ate
An orange and garlic stir fry of beef, red pepper, white asparagus, bok choy, maitake mushrooms
**Some changes/additions to ingredients, but the cooking method was the same
Humorist author David Sedaris is coming to the Merrill Auditorium on April 2, 2011. While many know of his ‘Santa Land Diaries,’ there’s another story that makes me think of him this time of year. Several years ago I saw David Sedaris do a reading in Albany, NY, where he read the following story, which made me nearly wet myself with laughter, and I never quite looked at the story of Santa Claus the same again.
Six to Eight Black Men
by David Sedaris